Stick-to-itiveness

I’m confident that I have the ability to be a good writer, but sometimes I have doubts about my stick-to-itiveness.

Like most people, I have had grand plans that never amounted to anything. I have started projects without finishing them. I have made promises to myself that I didn't keep.

Why will writing a novel be any different? Because in my mind, this novel is real—incomplete, barely started, but very real. Not just a daydream, but a reality (to me at least, as crazy as it sounds).

And yet I can’t help worrying that maybe one day soon it won’t feel so real. I’ll lose interest and move on to something else. I don’t think that will happen, but how can I be sure?

I just need to stick with it. Every day.

Confidence

As a writer, I am overconfident and underconfident at the same time. Perhaps this is true of all writers.

When I was younger, I cringed at the thought of anyone reading anything I had written. Since most of my writing was for school assignments I had to let my teachers read it, but I avoided letting anyone else see it. Everything I wrote felt extremely personal, even when it was just a book report. I struggled to find the perfect words because it was important to reflect my thoughts as accurately as possible. I still struggle to do that.

I think a lot of my insecurity comes from knowing that I will never transcribe all my thoughts perfectly, and imperfection means that I will be misunderstood. Conversely, when I do come close to “perfect” writing (my personal version of it, anyway) it is scary to share my true thoughts with other people.

Although writing makes me feel vulnerable, I do have confidence in my writing ability. I know I have a lot to learn, but I've always been a good learner. My voracious reading habits have given me a strong foundation and I will build on it by using the plethora of writing advice available in books and online.

I may be overconfident in believing I have what it takes to be a published novelist. But success requires persistence, and persistence requires confidence. Writing this blog is helping me to address my insecurities and get over my fear of imperfection. I’ll take overconfidence over underconfidence any day.